Last Updated on: 18th September 2024, 01:40 pm
This article was written by Associate Registered Nutritionist (ANutr) Cherie Ko, and reviewed by Registered Dietitian, Sarah Idakwo.
If you’ve spent any time on TikTok recently, you’ve probably come across the term “almond moms”. This phrase has gained traction as a way to describe a certain type of parent, typically a mother, who imposes strict diet culture ideals on her children, often under the guise of promoting “wellness”. Read on to learn more about almond moms, the common behaviours of the almond mum, and how these behaviours can impact or trigger disordered eating patterns and eating disorders.
What is an Almond Mom?
An “almond mom” is a term that has gained traction on social media, often used to describe mothers or caregivers who are hyper-focused on their children’s body weight, food choices, and physical appearance. These parents may seem preoccupied with thinness, dieting, and restrictive eating, often under the guise of promoting health and wellness.
However, it’s important to recognise that many parents who fall into this category are coming from a place of genuine love and concern. The pervasive messages of diet culture and wellness trends can instil a deep fear in these mothers—a fear that if they don’t ensure their children eat “clean” foods, their kids might face severe health consequences. The pressure to raise children who fit into society’s narrow standards of health and beauty can lead these parents to adopt extreme behaviours, all in an effort to protect their children from perceived dangers.
Behaviours Associated with Almond Moms:
- Obsession with Thinness and Physical Appearance: This can manifest as a preoccupation with both their own and their children’s body size and shape.
- Frequent Commentary on Weight: They may often comment on their own weight, their children’s weight, or the weight of others, reflecting an underlying anxiety about body image.
- Strict Diet Regulations: Almond moms might impose strict dietary rules on themselves and their children, believing they are promoting health.
- Monitoring Food Intake: They may frequently comment on what their child is eating, focusing on aspects like quantity, quality, calories, fat, sugar, etc.
- Restricting Access to Food: In some cases, this can lead to locking cabinets or restricting access to certain foods to prevent “unhealthy” eating.
- Expressing Guilt Over Food Choices: Often, they might feel guilt over eating certain foods and always opt for lower-calorie options, sometimes expressing this guilt openly.
- Exercise as Punishment: Exercise may be used as a means to “earn” meals or to compensate for perceived dietary “indulgences.”
It’s crucial to note here that this is not a blame game or a way to shame mums who are doing the best they can. These behaviours mentioned above are often rooted in fear and the intense pressure placed on parents by a culture that equates thinness with health and worth.
Having said that, why is this behaviour problematic?
Caregivers and mothers play a pivotal role in shaping children’s attitudes and behaviours, especially concerning food and body image. Children learn by observing and internalising the behaviours and attitudes of their parents. When a child grows up with an almond mom and or dad, they may develop a distorted relationship with food and their body, leading to long-lasting negative effects.
Research shows that children whose mothers restrict food or calories are more likely to develop poor body image, low self-esteem, and disordered eating patterns (1) . Even if these behaviours aren’t directly imposed, the act of role modelling can be just as influential (2).
An almond mom’s advice can be so powerful as they are in most cases, the primary caregiver. . Children are also unlikely to question what they are being told by primary caregivers, and often strive to meet the expectations set by their parents, believing that doing so will earn them approval, love, or attention.
The Impact of Almond moms on Growth and Development
Children are in a critical stage of growth and development, and dieting during this period can have severe consequences. Restrictive eating can lead to nutritional deficiencies, irregular periods/delayed periods, delayed puberty,mental health struggles, high risk of osteoporosis, and even impaired physical and cognitive growth (3). Furthermore, the emotional and psychological tolls of food restriction during childhood can increase the risk of developing eating disorders, disordered eating behaviours, and adult ‘obesity’ (4).
Almond Moms and Eating disorders
Good and bad foods
One common food rule that is often taught by “almond moms” is the idea that certain foods are “good” while others are “bad.” It’s important to recognize that this belief isn’t the fault of the mom. The rhetoric around “good” and “bad” foods, as well as the concept of “clean” eating, has been deeply ingrained in our culture for decades. These ideas have become normalised and are now being passed down to our children.
These ideas are problematic as they reduce food to a simplistic moral equation, where eating “good” foods is associated with virtue, self-control, and worthiness, while consuming “bad” foods is linked to guilt, shame, and failure.
When a child is repeatedly told that certain foods are “bad,” they may begin to internalise the idea that if eating these foods are bad, then they themselves are bad because they have eaten these foods. Moreover labelling foods can lead to an unhealthy preoccupation with food choices. Children may become anxious or fearful about eating certain foods, constantly worrying about whether their choices are “right” or “wrong.”
Over time, this mindset can foster a rigid approach to eating, where the child avoids entire food groups or essential nutrients out of fear. This fear-based approach to eating has the potential to grow into having a negative relationship with food, disordered eating behaviours and even eating disorders.
Restriction and Scarcity Mindset
Another behaviour common among almond moms is to restrict certain types of food and label them as ‘treat’ foods creating a cycle that puts these foods on a pedestal or make them scarce
This mindset can lead to binge eating episodes whenever the restricted food becomes available. This behaviour is driven by the anxiety of scarcity—believing that this might be their only opportunity to enjoy the food (we sometimes refer to it as the Last supper effect), they feel compelled to overindulge.
Individuals who grew up with a scarcity mindset around food might continue to struggle with feelings of deprivation and the fear of not having enough. This can manifest as stockpiling certain foods, patterns of binge eating, but also development of disordered eating and eating disorders.
Hyperfixation on appearance
Almond moms often hyperfocus on their children’s physical appearance, as a result of diet culture, they unintentionally equate thinness with health and or worth, success, and happiness. This obsession can severely damage a child’s self-esteem, leading to poorer self-image, greater dieting tendencies, and dysfunctional eating behaviours (5)
When a parent, particularly a mother or primary caregiver, repeatedly comments on their child’s weight or body shape, this can and does send a powerful message: that their appearance is not only important but perhaps even the most important aspect of their identity. This can lead the child to internalise the belief that their worth is directly tied to their physical appearance, specifically their ability to meet societal or parental expectations of thinness.
A study involving over 4,000 children from Bristol found that parental comments and teasing about weight can have long-lasting effects on a child’s psychological health (6). This can contribute to depression, anxiety, negative body image and compromised self-worth well into adulthood (7).
Breaking the Cycle
If you were raised by an almond mom or identify as one, please know that this discussion isn’t about blame or shame. The purpose of this blog is to raise awareness and foster understanding.
The behaviours often associated with almond moms typically stem from deep-seated insecurities or learned patterns that have been passed down through generations, all fueled by diet culture. The focus on body size and eating habits, as we’ve discussed, usually comes from a place of love, fear, and a desire to protect—it’s rarely meant to cause harm. Recognising this and allowing yourself some self-compassion is an essential first step.
Being curious and exploring the potential harm these behaviours might cause, in a non-judgmental way, is the second and essential step to breaking the cycle and starting the healing process for your relationship with food and your body.
Remember, it’s never too late to begin your recovery journey. By taking small, consistent steps, you can start to shift your mindset and cultivate a healthier relationship with food and body image.
If you recognise these behaviours in yourself or are worried about their impact on your children, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Click here to book your free discovery call and take the first step on your journey to recovery.
